Sunday Funny

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HOT for Politics

Reader Poll: Harry is Scary

Reader...Did you know that Harry Reid is a Mormon? Should that be scary? Please read the following poll and select the number that IS NOT TRUE about Mormonism

1) Mormonism began with Joseph Smith's visions, and his translations of "golden tablets" buried in Pennsylvania in the early 1800's. These tablets were left there by a civilization that migrated across the Atlantic Ocean. Only a few of Joseph Smith's inner circle actually "saw" these tablets.

(The detailed history and civilization described in the Book of Mormon does not correspond to anything found by archaeologists anywhere in the Americas. The Book of Mormon describes a civilization lasting for a thousand years, covering both North and South America, which was familiar with horses, elephants, cattle, sheep, wheat, barley, steel, wheeled vehicles, shipbuilding, sails, coins, and other elements of Old World culture. But no trace of any of these supposedly very common things has ever been found in the Americas of that period)

2) The Curse of Cain (the black race is not entitled to hold God's priesthood because it is cursed; this doctrine was not abandoned until 1978)

3) Joseph Smith died not as a martyr, but in a gun battle in which he fired a number of shots. He was in jail at the time, under arrest for having ordered the destruction of a Nauvoo newspaper which dared to print an exposure (which was true) of his secret sexual liaisons. At that time he had announced his candidacy for the presidency of the United States, set up a secret government, and secretly had himself crowned "King of the Kingdom of God."

• Since the founding of the church down to the present day the church leaders have not hesitated to lie, to falsify documents, to rewrite or suppress history, or to do whatever is necessary to protect the image of the church. Many Mormon historians have been excommunicated from the church for publishing their findings on the truth of Mormon history.

4) All of the above are TRUE

The correct answer to today's poll is that all are factually correct. Reader...would you want the man who holds to this religion to be at the controls of the "space ship" we call the United States Senate????

Can Mitch Only Bitch???

*** McConnell became a member of the US Army Reserve during his final semester of law school. After induction at Fort Knox, Kentucky, McConnell was released early from his active-duty military service in August 1967.^[5]A US Senator for whom McConnell had interned wrote a letter in August 1967 to the commanding general at Fort Knox, asking when McConnell would be "cleared" from active duty so as to attend New York University. The registrar's office at NYU has no record of McConnell applying or registering for classes. According to a former campaign manager, McConnell received a medical discharge for optic neuritis (a symptom of multiple sclerosis). McConnell has declined to be interviewed regarding this issue, or to release medical records. Mitch has been an ardent supporter of the War in Iraq


*** In its 2009 report, Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington (CREW) named McConnell one of the 15 most corrupt members of Congress, stating that "Sen. McConnell's ethics issues stem primarily from (1) earmarks he inserted into legislation for clients of his former chief of staff in exchange for campaign contributions and (2) the misuse of his nonprofit McConnell Center for Political Leadership at the University of Louisville."


*** In 1996, Senator McConnell demanded that President Clinton allow White House aides to testify under oath. On April 1, 2007, Chris Wallace claimed that McConnell's stance on Karl Rove and Harriet Miers testifying under oath in relation to the Dismissal of U.S. attorneys controversy was contradictory. Wallace asked, "In 1996, you were saying those White House aides should testify in open hearing. These were White House aides of Bill Clinton, in open hearing under oath. Why shouldn't the same rules apply for the Bush White House and people like Karl Rove?" McConnell replied, "And what I’m telling you is the president's going to make that decision."

source...wikipedia.com

Boehner Phoenetically is B-O-N-E-R

*** He grew up as one of twelve children, which, in part, explains why he would later so adamantly oppose including funding for those contraceptives in the original stimulus package. (Of course, it's common knowledge that unwanted teen pregnancies ultimately cost far more than sending a box of rubbers to some high school kids, but that would require Boehner to take five minutes of free time to think about it instead of doing all that manscaping.)

*** John's theory on climate change..."The idea that carbon dioxide is a carcinogen that is harmful to our environment is almost comical. Every time we exhale, we exhale carbon dioxide. Every cow in the world, you know when they do what they do you've got more carbon dioxide." While many scientists have taken exception to the 15 things that are factually incorrect about that statement, researchers are most surprised at Boehner's inability to just say the word "defecate."

*** In May 2009, weekly tracking polls indicated that Boehner remained the most unpopular member of Congress , though it is unclear if this statistic factored in his favorability among elderly conservative women or the staff of Jamaica Me Tan in Cincinnati, Ohio.

source: http://www.dickipedia.org/dick.php?title=John_Boehner

Who are These People???

Why the gridlock in Washington? This week the Doctor gives us some info about the cast of "characters" in Congress.

Madame Speaker

*** Next month, Nancy will be 70 years old

*** Born in Baltimore, her father was a US Congressman and Mayor of that city

*** Nancy's net worth is measured in tens of millions of dollars...making her one of the richest members of the House

*** Nancy represents an overwhelmingly Democratic district in San Fransisco. Since 1987, she has been winning reelections by overwhelming margins and her last public debate with an opponent was in 1987

Reader...if we listen to the Republicans, Nancy Pelosi is THE obstacle to bi-partisan legislation in the House. The Doctor does not know if this is true (?) However, given that she represents one of the most Liberal districts in our country...can we blame her for pushing a "liberal agenda" This is her job...to represent her "peeps" Our country is nearly 50% Blue and 50% Red (sorry Independents)...should we not have leaders from Districts that represent this cross section? Nancy is basically not held accountable for her legislative (lack of) leadership because of the severely left leaning of her electorate.

Sunday (not so funny) Funny...cause it's true

My Dear Reader...JUMP!!!

Thursday:Reader Poll Day ...(Froggy Week)

OK Reader...what can you tell us about these two frogs???

a) They are probably friends...they share the same log and the same interest (being lazy)...how is this possible if their skin is a different color?
b) One might be Republican the other a Democrat...can you tell which is which?
c) Frogs have sex...are these two hetero, homo or bi and how did you tell?
d) If they could mate...would their froggy children be "Aqua", and could an Aqua frog ever be King?

This week's Theme...Froggy

After watching this short clip...the Doctor (age:63)...now understands why his Mommy didn't want him to watch too much Television. Andy's Gang was a very popular show, and now the Doctor wonders why. What do you think?

Itty (2-bit) Bitty Froggie and Its' Plastic Wannabe

This Relationship Won't Be Going Too Far (very fast)

Sunday Funny

Friday is Hot for Words

OK Reader...this is off this week's topic of "Litter"... but this is a subject that has long been part of the Dr.'s research..."Why do animals make different sounds in different countries?"

THIS IS A MUST SEE!

Thursday...of course Reader Poll Day

This week has been all about the Pizza Box...so today's poll is about littering. Reader...these are things that have happened to the Doctor. Please circle those
experiences similar to your own

1) Been behind a car at a traffic light, and fast food litter is coming out of every window. You pull up beside the car to chastise the occupants and realize they are gangster types (with guns) and did you "bite your tongue" (like the Dr. did)

2) Been on a hiking trail in a park in Florida when you begin to see candy wrapper liter, and come upon a father and son duo (eating candy) and chastise them (they weren't packing)

3)Had your jacket blow out of the open window on the Ohio Turnpike while traveling 65 miles an hour and knew that you had just littered, lost a good jacket, but there was no way to go back and get it

4)Were you in Palm Springs a few months after 9/11, and did you see one of those American flags that people had on their cars in the middle of a busy intersection. Were the cars running over the flag of our great Nation and when you stopped (in the intersection) to pick it up, did the people behind you honk at you (even though they could see what you were doing)

5) You have a littering story to top all those (put it in the comment below)

Hands Free Pizza

If it is illegal to drive with a cell phone in your hand...should it not also be unlawful to drive while eating a hot slice of pizza...FOOD FOR THOUGHT!

Fifty Years of Bad Pizza

(remember...this week's theme is: Pizza Box Beside the Road)

Little Caesars is an excellent example of mediocre product and excellent marketing. That "little Caesar" who beeped out "PIZZA PIZZA" became a pop icon on all those TV ads should be given a gold watch as an anniversary present... but how would a watch look with his toga????

Pizza Pizza

This week's "theme" is this photograph (taken by Mrs. Ridiculous). Reader...wonder not...how the Doctor will find enough in this image to blog about for an ENTIRE WEEK. He promises not to disappoint!!!

This is a pizza box that was carelessly tossed from a car/truck along our beautiful rural road. Littering is bad...indeed horrible (especially an object this large). This cardboard box will biodegrade after less than a year in our rainly Oregon winter. However, careful observation will show an aluminum can lying nearby in the tall grass. The life of a soda/beer can is 500 years.

Five Hundred Years!

But "litter bug" don't worry...in a hundred years (or so) the aluminum can you are wantonly threw from your vehicle will be buried by the decomposing paper trash you throw... unless you continue to throw cans, and in that case, the sides of our roadways be be a never-ending "aluminum can recycle center"

Sunday Funny

Is Getting a Tattoo a "Capricious Act?"

Does Marina have any tattoos???

Thursday is "Reader Poll Day

This is an eye jewel. Did you know that folks are putting jewels in their eyes? This one gives new meaning to the expression: "Eye Love You"
Below is a short video...followed by the Reader Poll

So, after watching the video...Reader do you think...

a) I can't think or speak...I was too grossed out by this

b) I could get one of my friends to do this...it's really cool and not that difficult to do

c) "Beam me up Scotty"

d) Will use this as a tutorial for when I get a lash in my eye...Thanks Dr. Ridiculous

What is he Thinking

This is Rapper Lil Wayne. He wins the award for..."Most Famous...Most Tattooed" He has successfully made his Tattoos more important than his BLING.

Lil Wayne grew up in New Orleans where he was an Honor Student until he dropped out at age 14. We can only assume that he will be rooting for the Saints in the Super Bowl, and this is why he wears so many crosses...to support his TEAM.

What are you saying???

(To fully appreciate this week's posts, the Reader must watch the short video posted yesterday)

China owns our national debt...their economy is growing at a much faster pace than ours...and their students (on average) do much better than our own. In the race for Numero Uno...they are not far behind the US and are coming on strong.

So...now it is popular to get tattooed with Chinese characters??? The Doctor really doesn't get the tattoo craze, and especially with words that can't be read by English speaker in a language from a country that is building an empire off the backs of the peasant class. Maybe this tattoo reads: "Free Tibet"...then it might serve the owner and the planet well!

Dr. Ridiculous Declares...Tattoo Week

To start off "Tattoo Week"...we start the reader off with this "instruction" video